


The name will always define the best of us

by taniadh



Category: Captain Marvel (2019)
Genre: Male-Female Friendship, Memory Loss, choose a hero name, painful memories, skrull babies
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-22
Updated: 2019-09-22
Packaged: 2020-10-26 08:33:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20739308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taniadh/pseuds/taniadh
Summary: Carol is in the middle of a mission with the skrulls when everything goes wrong and her past come back to torment her. Is she worthy given her kree past?





	The name will always define the best of us

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [El nombre siempre definirá a lo mejor de nosotros](https://archiveofourown.org/works/20394385) by [taniadh](https://archiveofourown.org/users/taniadh/pseuds/taniadh). 

> A dear friend of mine made me the favor to translate this fanfic I wrote. I hope you enjoy it and, please, be kind if you saw any mistake cause english isn't our first language.

Carol had to make a detour inside Mar-vell’s laboratory, and a current skrull rescue ship, but finally she found an empty spot where she didn’t have to talk or see anyone. She used her powers to rise and end up sitting on the platform that made a bridge to the upper level. That spot reminded her of the place where she faced off the Kree Force, her old comrades. Although the circumstances had change since that moment, the feelings and thoughts of the blondie remained the same. She let her legs hang in the void while resting her arms on the lower railing, dropping her head on them. She should go to her room to change her uniform and take a shower; the burns and stains which covered part of the suit and her face weren’t going to disappear as easily as the wounds did, she had no superpowers for those mundane things; but, if she was honest with herself, the only thing she wanted in that moment was to have a good drink, full of alcohol. She knew it had worked in the past; however, alcohol wasn’t one of the luxuries to be enjoyed aboard of a refugee spaceship in the middle of the galaxy. Furthermore, she didn’t know if she could get drunk since she had released her powers. Carol just wanted something which could help her to get through this hard day.

**** 

_“Do you hear that Talos? We are going to have company.” _

_Carol announced as soon as she heard the unmistakable sound of laser weapons charging with energy. _

_“Affirmative. We are prepared.” _

_The skrull commander answered making a sign to the combat squad in formation inside the individual spaceships used as an attack, courtesy of the Kreed when they were defeated in the last skirmish._

_“Great. Let the party begin.” Said the superheroine speeding up her flight, an arrival that would’ve been triumphant if the mound that practically buried her and activated, without knowing, the explosives wasn’t been there._

_At first, they thought that the Kree had outwit their detectors and had infiltered themselves in that planet right under their eyes. Later, when the battle started, they were aware of the simplicity; that planet was an ally of the kree. It wasn’t good news. In the last decade that planet had been sending welcome signals to the skrulls who had fled around the galaxy, if now they were allies of the kree those signals were a trap to capture them and later on deliver them to the kree. Or use them as slaves. She thought when she saw a group of chained skrulls taking advantage of the battle to escape._

_Those allies had kree technology on their part, so the battle was longer than the expected especially when Carol decided to to carry on without the attack spaceships. They had no time to train properly the skrull squad to pilot them, much less to shoot at the same time. Their presence was intimidating and as support to transport the refugees, but when they saw the power of the enemy they were facing, Carol made the decision to confront them alone. No skrull would die that day if she could avoid it._

_Carol had to absorb more than one shoot with her own body, and she would lie if she said it hadn’t hurt more than the expected, clearly the krees had updated their armament, but at the end of the battle it was Carol the one who was victorious. _

_Another heroe might have been looking humbler o stoic, yet the truth is that Carol had always been arrogant by nature, every pilot in the Air Force was; and being able to beat up your kidnappers, or their allies in this case, was always a good new. She couldn’t help herself, she loved to see the fear in his enemies’ eyes when they realized that no matter which weapon or how much force they used against her, nothing would stop her. And reliving that moment just before liberate that great skrull colony and saving them from slavery was an excellent balm for her ego and for the skrull’ morale._

_Although not everything was perfect._

_She was breaking the chains that tied a group of young skrulls and indicating them the way to get on the spaceship that, this time, would reunite them with their own when she felt the unmistakable cold of the barrel of a rifled aimed directly against the back of her neck._

_“Put your hands up and walk away from them, Vers.”_

_Although the situation took her by surprise, she remained calm and slowly raised her hands as she gradually stood up. She knew she would resist the shot if there was one, but she wanted to see the face of that stupid kree who didn’t received the notification that the old known soldier Vers was indestructible._

_Nevertheless, when she started to turn around, feeling how the gun was moved away enough for it, with her hands still raised in supposed surrender, the arrogant smile was immediately erased. She ended facing the unmistakable greenish face with furrows of a skrull who was pointing directly at her with a weapon, and whose trembling hands and soggy eyes exposed the fear and the rage that consumed him._

****

“So you were here.”

Talos’ voice woke her from her memories and gave her enough time to quickly wipe out her tears with the back of her hand.

“What happened? Do you need me?”

In a second she seemed to be recovered and ready to enter combat again. She even started to get up, but Talos stopped any movement by shaking his head and taking seat next to her giving her some taps the knee to tell her not to.

“Everything is fine, I just was looking for you. I wanted to know how you were.”

The woman shrugged her shoulders downplaying the situation with a gesture that didn’t convince anyone.

“I will survive.” It was funny because it was true. In every way.

Talos didn’t laugh.

“Carol what has happened wasn’t your fault, don’t…”

“Yes, it is my fault. I’m the one and only responsible for what happened then and for what happened today.” She quickly cut her words with anger in her voice, an anger that, not matter what, was not directed to the alien but towards itself.

Talos closed his eyes while shaking his head accepting the poorly choice of words he has made.

“I should’ve been there with you, being the face for them to know who we were and avoid everything that has happened.

Carol looked away from his friend, ashamed.

“That wouldn’t change anything of what I did, nor will repair the damaged.”

_ ****_

_“Stop! You are making a serious mistake. She’s a friend and she’s on our side.” The words of Valth, one of the skrulls, didn’t seem to have much effect on the enraged young man who kept aiming at Carol._

_“A friend? She’s a murderess! She fooled you?!” The young man looked around assessing with suspicion all the skrulls who had arrived. “Is it another twisted game just for fun? DON’T TAKE ANOTHER STEP!”_

_ He changed the direction of his weapon by targeting everyone else causing that nervousness and panic took control of the moment when some of the skrull refugees screamed, and the newcomers put their hands up trying to deal the matter calmly._

_“Calm down, we are friends. Mi name is Valth and I’m the second in command of our commander Talos.” As he spoke, he approached the young man as if he were a scared animal, without raising his voice and with slow movements. “Three days ago, we received a message asking for help from a colony of skrulls on this planet. Was it you?”_

_The young skrull nodded without being able of hide the tremor in his hands._

_“Well, here we are. We want to help, we want to get you out of here, but we can’t do it if you threaten to shoot us all. What’s your name”_

_He seemed to hesitate a few seconds watching again the newcomers, but in the end he responded. _

_“Yorak”_

_“Hello, Yorak” greeted with diplomacy Valth— Can you put down the weapon for us to talk? _

_At another time they would’ve shown their diplomatic side and explained to everyone who they were and why they must trust them. But in that moment commander Talos, from the spaceship, was monitoring all the sensors which were warning about a new enemy attack which warned the entire squad that they should leave the planet right away._

_That’s why, when Yorak was still deciding about trusting them or not, Valth made a gesture with his gaze that Carol understood and which made her pounce on the boy, snatch the gun and reduce him with a key._

_“Everyone on the ship now! Reinforcements are coming and we won’t like what they bring.”_

_ The superheroine ordered making that the rest of the refugees walked faster escorted by the rest who gave them words of support and promises of an explanation later, when they were no longer in danger. _

_Meanwhile, Carol grabbed the skrull between her arms, who was trying to break free and, as if he barely weighed, she carried him on her shoulder to taking the young man to the ship in expenses of his protests._

_“It’s a trap, they are going to kill us all!”_

_“Calm down, boy. We have come to help.” She tried to reason with him when they had reached the access ramp, being the last to arrive. The woman lowered him back to the ground._

_“The kree doesn’t know what is to help, you just seek to kill, Vers” He spat her name with absolute repugnance._

_Carol raised her hands once again showing her innocence. She was about to defend herself when she heard shots from the distance than hit the spaceship’s hull. She returned immediately to her superheroine mode._

_“Get out of here, I’ll contain them. See you later.” The woman said before launching herself fully against the new enemy squad giving the skrulls time to escape._

_By the time she returned to the ship, an hour later, they were still accommodating the newcomers while and angry Yorak kept screaming saying they were all crazy._

_“Are you ok?”_

_Soren, Talos’ wife, approached Carol offering a bowl of hot broth. Certainly, she wasn’t presenting a good image with the broken in some areas, and wounds and burns everywhere, so she understood that concern. Although, being truthful, Soren was always looking after her, she supposed that Maria was responsible for that, but it wasn’t the time to ask._

_She accepted the drink with a grateful smile an after taking a small sip for a tiny moment she could almost swear she was home again. Although the fantasay was short-lived when Yorak’s voice was heard again among the circle of skrulls who surrounded him, some of them with noticeable signs of anger._

_“You can’t trust her! You can’t be serious about her being our defender! SHE’S A KILLER!”_

_“Hey, why don’t you say that to my face?” Carol who wasn’t willing to tolerate that scene any longer, stepped into the crowd standing in front of that new refugee. — I’m here, tell me, how do you know me?_

_For a second the anger glowed in the skrull’s gaze, she thought he was going to attack her, but suddenly he smiled sneerily._

_“You don’t even remember, right? Six years ago, on the planet Ria.” He lowered his head biting his lips, his whole body trembling again. “For you it was another routine, another attack. You even made jokes, especially you, Vers”_

_Carol, who hadn’t stopped frowning since he begun to speak, ended moving forward to him, challenging him by raising her chin. The tension was palpable and some of the oldest skrulls were already approaching to them._

_“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” She said through clenched teeth._

_“YOU KILLED MY FAMILY!” He finally spoke furious. “Your burned them all with your hands. My little brother died in my arms!” He put his hands up to Carol’s arms as if trying to shake her. “ And you don’t even remember him?”_

_Carol couldn’t react, just like what happened when she heard the recording from the flight recorder of her accident, when Yorak shook her the memories came to her._

_It was her first mission as part of the Star Force, she hadn’t learned yet to master her powers completely but she believed she could do it and they let her try it. It was a routine mission, to end the group of skrull hiding on the planet Ria and who were trying to form a military squad to begin an offensive against the Kree Empire. The Supreme Intelligence decided that they should end the threat before it increased and her team was the chosen for the task. The idea was to show the danger of their guest to the Ria’s inhabitants, so they would expel them form the territory, but when they arrived someone attacked the shooting began, they had to respond the same way. Carol was carrying a gun like the others but when she felt a presence behind her, fear took control over her and turned rapidly, extending her fist so a jet of photons was fired which calcined the civil skrulls that were close to her. Both adults, one smaller, one child. Now she remembered the lack of air, as it was happening in that exact moment, panic, shame for having taken those lives._

_Yon-Rogg found her after, sitting on the floor, hugging her knees with blank stare and the gun abandoned where she had thrown it. He only had to see the burn marks to know what had happened. He reached down to face her and be able to place his hand on the blondie’s shoulder. _

_“Hey, Vers. Don’t worry, they appeared hostiles, they were going to kill you. It was you or them and you have done the right thing. The Supreme Intelligence will say so.”_

_Carol was scared, for a moment she had forgotten where she was and who she was, but the smile and the warmth of Yon-Rogg’s gaze offered was all the security she needed. She chose to believe him. She trusted him and the Kree. Now she saw that all they had done was erase his memory again, making that event – and perhaps many more – disappear from her mind until she could become the perfect soldier that Hala needed._

_Meanwhile, some skrulls were responsible for separating Yorak frim Carol, but the look full of hate, anger and remained upon the pain and regret from Carol’s eyes. She couldn’t say a word. An apology would be like an insult._

_“You’re a murderess, Vers from the Star Force. — He nodded as he walked away.”_

_Carol looked around completely lost the faces of the new skrulls only reflected fear as if the were afraid that in any moment they would share the same fate as Yorak’s family. The other skrulls, those who she knew from before, showed different degrees of surprise, some even a slight fear. Then she looked at her owns hands, they seemed harmless. Just a few months before they had heated Monica’s breakfast mug when she _ _got lost watching cartoons. They had also caressed Maria’s hands, protecting them from the cold night air when she made their finger entwine while they watched the shooting stars from the garden of their house. Now she knew that those hands had killed innocents. _

_She couldn’t stand it. She couldn’t keep surrounded by those skrulls knowing that now everyone was afraid of her. Turning on her feet she walked away as far as she could._

_****_

“I don’t think if it’s a good idea to stay here with you. Maybe it’s time to find my own place.” She said with a lost gaze. “Maybe a small ship where I can have my things and sleep. That way I can join the missions without interfering with the colony’s life.” 

“That’s not going to happen.” Talos replied almost instantly. “You have a place here among us, whether you like it or not. The space isn’t a good place to be alone, too much loneliness and silence. There is too much tranquility, so much that it forces you to overthink any tiny detail, it’s a quick way to crazy. Also, what do you think Maria would do is she finds out we left you over there alone?” 

The mention of the other women had no the expected effect on the blondie, a sign of how affected she was.

“I’m a murderess, Talos.” She repeated the words of the skrull while trying to control the tears that were already gathering in her eyes. 

“We are at war, Carol! We all are.” He said as if it was so obvios. “Do you remember what I told you when I introduce you to Soren and the rest of the skrull who lived in the laboratory? My hands are also stained with blood. Nobody wants to kill but sometimes the circumstances in which we find ourselves leave us no other option.”

Carol snorted wiping her tears with the back of her hand careless.

“That’s bullshit. We, soldiers, are meant to protect our people.”

Talos sighed.

“Did you remember doing it? You reacted just like when you heard the recording of your accident.” He tried a new tactic.

Carol shook her head. She didn’t need to say what had happened. Talos had already seen with his machine the destruction that the kree had done to Carol’s mind. They didn’t stop with a simple memory erase. When they had removed all the traces of a past life, they began to testing her reactions and how she used her powers. When the result wasn’t the expected one, as in the case of Ria’s mission, her memory would be erased again and then they began once again.

“You are not to blame for what the kree forced you to do. They erased your memory, made you one of them and they used you as weapon.” 

“Yes I am! Stop excusing me. They made me a kree, yes, and I was more than proud to serve the empire and be a noble war heroe. The people of Hala looked at my with respect and I enjoyed it. And maybe I may not remember Yorak and his family, but what about everyone else I’ve killed? The spaceships I shoot down with people inside, I never checked if they survived the fall. Those dead are also my responsibility.” 

“You are not the only one who had killed innocent people, Carol. If human were not so harmless and so ignorantly arrogant, we wouldn’t have been so subtle with our C-53 infiltration. Do you remember the fight you had on the train with one of my men?” He waited for Carol to nod. “Do you think that if it had been, he would not have killed any of the human of the wagon?”

“But he didn’t do it.”

“Because none of them got in his way. I can’t say the same about the one who was infiltrated in Fury’s car. If agent Fury wasn’t so skilled in the fight, nor so lucky, you wouldn’t have known him because ha would have died in that car.” The confession took Carol by surprise making her keep silent for a moment, a sign of which the alien took advantage to continue. “I’m not trying to excuse you; I’m reminding you that since you knew the truth you haven’t stopped helping all time without caring about the danger you will face. You talk about the ones you have killed but what about those who you have saved? Look at this ship, most of them owe their lives to you.”

“Saving some redeem me of killing others? I don’t think that balances the scale, Talos. It’s far from making up for it.” She answered without much conviction. 

“Maybe not, but it’s a start. You’re following the path that Mar-Vell showed you and, as you said, you are here to end this war. You couldn’t imagine that everything would be so easy.” 

At hearing that name Carol sighed, she throwed her golden hair back with one hand in a gesture of frustration.

“I don’t know how I’m going to follow Mar-Vell’s plan when half of the galaxy knows me as «Vers, the Star Force killer» and I keep presenting myself with the Hala star in my uniform.”

The look of contempt towards her suit was latent, Talos supposed that if he wasn’t present Carol would not have hesitated in taking it off right there and throw it away.

“If I’m not mistaken, the colors of your suit were chosen by Monica; a reminder of why you fight. And, to be honest, when I see that star in your chest, I don’t feel the anger that the Kree Empire tends to cause on me. It doesn’t remind me of them or Hala; that star reminds me of Mar-Vell. The kree woman who wasn’t afraid to face off her own people and her own past to stop a unfair war, the one who kept my wife and my daughter and the first skrull refugees safe for years in her own laboratory. A brilliant and brave woman who will always have my respects.” A little smile peeked around the corner of the commander’s lips. “ Just like the woman I have in front of me right now.” 

Carol shook her head in an attempt to erase her own smile, but her mate had already seen it.

“And what about the name?” 

“Maybe it’s time to being known for another.” 

“Carol?” She asked strangely, frowning.

It was rare to make her name public in her current circumstances. Over time more memories had come to his mind as Carol and it was a name linked to a house in Louisiana with her family, Fridays of bowling and movies, desert racings and bbq and jambalya Sundays. It seemed too personal to introduce herself that way to extraterrestrial civilizations as a superhero who could help them, or end them, depending on the situation.

Luckily Talos shook his hand as he shook his head echoing his thoughts.

“No, it isn’t a good idea. We need something more… Majestic.”

You could always count on Talos’ drama for any circumstance and Carol had to laugh about it.

“Okay, what do you think about using my military rank? If you are General Talos I can be Captain Danvers again, can’t I?”

Talos looked at the ceiling, tapping his chin methodically in a thoughtful attitude. He even tilted his head; he was considering it. But because of the grimace he ended up making with his lips he didn’t seem very convinced.

“I do like the captain part, not so much your last name.” He said at last. But then he looked again at the Hala star and his eyes lit up. “Captain Mar-Vell.” He said emotional as if he was presenting a masterpiece. — No. No, no. Too obvious. “He corrected himself before giving time for an answer.” Captain Marvel.

Carol surprise couldn’t be bigger, just like the pride she felt within that name. Pride that quickly was marred by the shame which surpassed her.

“I don’t know if I should take her name. Less after today.” She admitted lowering her head.

The alien brought a hand to the superhero’s shoulder seeking her attention.

“There is no one more worthy to take her name than you. She chose you to fly the plane, she expected you to shoot into the reactor to stop the kree. Mar-Vell trusted you and that you would end the war, who better than you to honor her memory by taking her name?”

Carol couldn’t help but get thrilled at those words which she needed to hear more than she had imagined. She lowered her head again trying to camouflage her tears were born from the emotion with a small laugh as she pushed them away with the back of her hand.

“Marvel? Doesn’t it sound a bit presumptuous?”

Few seconds later, Talos brought a hand to his chest, offended. 

“And what else, apart from stopping an intergalactic war and defending the universe, do you intend to do in your life that gives you the right to be presumptuous with your name?” His words were accompanied by a proud chin lift.

Carol could only laugh with a deep laugh. That camaraderie, being able to trust in someone other than herself, was something she didn’t believe after the kree’s betrayal, but there, among the skrulls, she seemed to find her place as a superheroine.

****

After good shower and clothes change, Carol had arrived at the ship’s cockpit looking for a quiet place. She had avoided the central spaces of the ship to not to coincide with Yorak especially, but also with the rest of the skrulls. The talk with Talos helped but she still had some qualms about facing the rest of the colony for fear of letting them down. Many of them knew her past and those who hadn’t, had deduced it because of her uniform, but now they all had an official version of what were the specific mission she had been performing in her past as kree. She still felt too much shame about herself and anger towards her kidnappers to be able to put up with the disappointment and fear among the skrulls she had begun to consider as friends. Would they ever trust her again?

A few soft but numerous steps rang the alarm of her thoughts and, before she could turn the chair completely to see who was, a bunch of little green heads with pointed ears appeared in her visual field. Soon a broad smile took over her expression.

“Hey! What are you doing here? It seems to me that someone has escaped from where they were supposed to be.” She said with exaggerating the frown.

Instantly Purnir, Trall and N’ala, three of the youngest in the colony, tried to dissimulate, but their guilty expressions gave them away.

“We wanted to see the space from here.” Explained N’ala, always the bravest of the group.

“And also pilot the ship.”

Purnir added as if it was a minimum detail as he approached Carol and, quite naturally, jumped on her lap. Without thinking, Carol hugged him making sure that she didn’t fall as she always did when the little one approached her.

The space was a huge and cold place. The ship in which they were travelling was acclimatized, but sometimes it crossed some areas which allowed the pass to the low temperatures. The skrulls didn’t like cold and it was the children who endured it the worst. Over time she had realized that most looked for her not only because she sometimes played with them forgetting her mission and that she should look like a responsible adult, but also because Carol increased the temperature by two or three degrees each time she entered a room. And of course, her arms were the warmest place on the entire ship, if not the safest.

Seeing Carol behaving as usual seemed to be the test the other two were waiting to breathe easy because she would not scold them.

“Didn’t they forbid you to come with me?” Carol asked curiously.

The little ones were the most valuable for the skrulls and after what happened that day she doubted they would let her get close to anyone of them anymore. She couldn’t blame them.

Three pair of eyes looked at her strangely before Trall shook his head.

“Mom told us not to bother you because you were doing important things.”

It was nothing they were not told regularly, the superheroine thought with somehope.

“But we have not played with you in all day” N’ala reminded her with her age-specific requirement.

The blondie had to bite her own lip to not to laugh. Talos was right. Maybe they looked surprised by the moment but it didn’t seem like she had lost the skrulls’ trust. Even so, she couldn’t resist to a moment of silence, only for the dramatic effect, enjoying the impatience of the little ones before giving them her permission. 

“Fine, come here.” Said at last with a huge smile.

Almost immediately she was attacked by the little skrulls of about three and four years who jumped on her between screams and laughs, Carol suffered for a few minutes before she could place three skrull babies in her lap and make them to stay as still as possible while showing them some of the ship’s controls.

With the fourth blackout of the central modules and half of the hall door opening and closing for no apparent reason, Talos had to get into the room fearing that some control had been damaged and was affecting the entire spaceship. But what he found was Carol sitting in the pilot’s chair teaching three little skrulls what button had to press to turn off the dining room lights. Button that, obviously, they pressed and which caused a general audible gasp on the lower floors and some loud laughter in the cockpit.

“Ok, ok. That’s fine, enough for today. Now we have to behave properly.” Carol’s maturity and responsibility sense mad and appearance at last calming down the kids.

Before Talos could scold them, the explosion in the distance of a star captured the attention of all present but, above that, a surprised gasp from the smallest. Except Punir who, scared, hugged Carol tightly.

“Hey, don’t worry little one. Everything it’s fine.” Carol calmed him smiling with tenderness. “It’s only what the stars do when they consume all their hydrogen, there’s no danger.”

The three of them looked at her amazed before returning their attention to the colorful spectacle before their eyes.

“It’s really pretty.” Said N’ala. 

“And what happens now with the star?” Asked Purnir not yet convinced. 

“It turns into space dust and floats throughout the galaxy.”

Almost instantly the was a burst of questions from the three that Carol faced first with a laugh and then settling better in the chair so everyone could see the beautiful explosion of colors while she answered all their questions.

Talos abandoned his mission of scold them, Carol needed a few hours for rest and those little ones were getting what he had tried all afternoon without any result. Captain Marvel was now the protector of the skrulls. She would protect all races and planets from the kree tyranny and she would end that war. That was her mission and she wasn’t alone.


End file.
